How ingeniously crafty this universe’s life law works. For my part, it turns out that the more you look at the bigger picture, the more conflicting concepts are homogenized. The thick wall that was once impenetrable, a touchstone that marked the contrasts between the extreme poles is suddenly becoming more unrealistic. A dilemma that has no end is suddenly solved.

For the most part I was a persistent (or stubborn you might say) woman of principle. But not always in a good sense. Time and time again some belief systems were taken in high regard to satisfy the ego. Unaware of the real smart trick concealed by the blinding, dazzling glory of pride that comes from it I shamelessly took each victory as an addition to self-regard. Every time I stood to my ethics and moral standard, there was always someone deprecated along the way. Which took me ten steps backward instead of a step ahead. I now realize I failed to notice the difference between real honor and false honor which lies simply in ones purpose. It’s very simple, but how on earth could I have missed them. Countless occasions it deftly slipped through my hands as if layer and layer of false truth clouding this logic.

Just as simple as a two sided coin, people only refer to one, which inclined to negativity. I wonder why. If this world that we live in has two things: negative and positive, most people gravitates more on the former one. I haven’t found an answer to that, yet. Is it because we are drawn or habitually living in a world based on material and physical attributes that facilitates the prominent five senses which has a deteriorating end (which commonly regarded as negativity). Thus without knowing the unknown (that is rebirth or positivity) we failed to embrace the cycle and stopped there. Right to what is tangible. A certainty. A dead end. Which is not reassuring at all.

Honor should be offered genuinely, not gained by force or demand. It should be given by others willingly. It’s something that doesn’t need a hard-earned attempt or any effort to attain one. Either you have it or not. It doesn’t need anyone’s approval or reliable prove. It is not about your place in society, or your family’s reputation in the community. It is between you and yourself.

Measuring values by quantity of the masses doesn’t determine the real truth. How many people thought the earth is flat in the Middle Ages? How many of them wrongly accused Galileo as being a heretic, because they thought the earth is at the center of the universe? We are given a mind to reevaluate things. Right or wrong has to be supported by cause and effect. Take into consideration every possibilities of better consequences there is. By that I hope we evolve and grow into greater human beings.

This is actually funny facts being a new mother (as in sarcastically “funny”. It’s so ridiculous up to the state you can’t tell whether to cry or laugh or throw up or do all three at the same time). I was going to write the title ‘Do you win a medal for being the best mama or what?’ but I had to restrained myself before going too deep and start wearing leotard trainers and getting a tan. Without further ado, here it goes:

A day in a park like no other day:

Mother no.1: “My baby can’t eat a thing, she only drinks milk. Whenever I gave her strained porridge, she…”

Mother no. 2 interrupts: “Porridge?! Christ-heaven, no no no… darling! That won’t do. How did you know it’s the precise amount of nutrition you fed her per day? Just buy (place baby food product) from the supermarket. Save you a lot of time and energy. Plus they added more nutrition…”

Mother no. 3 interrupts: “Buy them at the supermarket? Are you sure? We better cooked them on our own. Who knows what’s those things really made? Besides you’ll know a mother’s love from the chaps of her hands …”

Mother no. 2. and 5. stares in disbelief after some mothers silently nodded in approval.

Mother no. 2: “Are you saying that we don’t love ours as much as you love yours? Well, let’s see… Those foods you bragged so much, how can you know it’s really organic? More sources told us don’t trust them unless you planted or farmed them yourselves! How ’bout that!”

Mother no. 3 to Mother no. 1: “Well, I don’t mean that. It’s just… You will know for sure if…”

Mother no. 2 and 5. : “We damn well know it for sure!”

And you mothers out there will probably know the rest of the story.

A happily sincere non-complaining but tired mother has been spending the rest of her day tending and playing with her baby in an open, creative but baby proof space. Never let her out of her sight except for really important needs, she will put the baby in a save place (say a crib for an instance) no longer than 5 minutes. At nearly end of the afternoon came Grandma Barbara to visit her favorite grandniece.

Grandma Barbara: “Oh my! Look at this cute swollen adorable eyes! What have you been crying for, little angel? Tut tut tut… let Grandauntie take you out of this prison.”

Grandma Barbara taking little Jo from the crib. Little Jo still sobbing. Grandma Barbara put her in king size bed near the crib. As volatile as a baby is, Little Jo starts to clap her hands and smile her most endearing innocent smile.

Grandma Barbara to her niece: “See? It always works. I used to put my babies in bed and play with them. Never get tired of them and leave them alone like that. Poor angel. See how she smiles again?”

The niece: “Doh!” *sambil geleng-geleng kepala keluar dari ruangan (Have to write this part in Indonesian though).

This also counts for anyone who bears their first title using ‘Grand’ without space in between.

Reading mothers bragging about their babies or children in their social network’s status is always funny. Especially when they recite funny things their children said or do to point out how smart their children really is. More hilarious (or pathetic) if they use it as a tool to get praises for themselves and not really for her daughter or son. For instance:

Proud mommy on (pick social network): “Last weekend at my neighbor’s birthday party, this lovely lady came and tease my (insert son’s name) by asking if she can share his ice cream with her. He told her it’s not that good.”

Comments that follows: “He is so smart and he’s only 1 and a half!”, “Way to go, (insert your friend you want to kiss her ass son’s name)!”, “Genius! Like mother like son!”

The later comment though I’m sure as heaven (want to say ‘hell’ but too much swearing already) that it’s the devil himself talking.

Watching mommies using her children as a tool to compete against each other unconsciously but as often as they can be is also always funny. In fact I never saw one who doesn’t, didn’t or probably won’t, including myself. (Good thing though I still snap out of it from time to time)

Why do people kept asking this one stupid question. Adding to this madness, they’re waiting for us an answer which they already knew has to be in a positive outcome. Crazy still, if we give slightly different one, they will suggest you the supposedly right answer.

Q: “How do you feel at last as a new mother?” or “How’s parenthood/motherhood?”

A: “Well, it’s a mixed feeling…” (I bet you are expecting “Wonderful”, “Wow! I can’t really describe the bliss I’m having” sort of answer right? You know quite well you will never get an answer like, “It kinda sucked.” or “Not having one is better.” Jeez!)

Response: “Really? But it’s sooo amazing (or open thesaurus for out of this world expression), right? It’s like (And you can add your euphoria statement or your personal experience here). It’s like nothing we have felt before in our lives.” (Double Duh!)

Not that I didn’t feel all those feelings. I do. It’s just so outrageously redundant. But hey, I did asked those above questions and several times, too. So you’re not the only dimwit here.

So here we are. What can i say… Don’t take those things too seriously. I’m sure some of you just want to show how much you care and share some of these wonderful experience.

One thing is for sure, that motherhood is not always having to prove that you unconditionally love your children. Or showing off what it’s like to be the best for your little darlings.

You just do.

Moreover a friend told me children are not for competition. A baby just like human being is different than anyone else, the best care and nurturing methods are different than any babies there are.

Enough of these redundant (yes, I use ‘redundant’ twice) lectures. I promise this is the one last thing…

You are the mom, you know what’s best for them.

No pain no gain.

Bersakit-sakit dahulu, bersenang-senang kemudian.

I don’t know exactly when those sayings became known generally. They would’ve easily become a misguided conception on how you should live your live, apart from those who really celebrate torture or took pride in embracing them. That’s an exception.

At some level, people do enjoy the drama in order to attain their means. It’s an energy boost also a pride boost. How many times did people wrote on their social network status, tweeting, and blogging, telling everybody the great effort (or they might want to admit it’s actually the trouble/misery/hardships that they have to endure) to win the desired purpose. To me it’s an obvious s & m, which relatively mild compared to the real term.

Everyone in this planet has it, in varied proportions. It is the law of nature itself. Women had painful births to welcome their newborns. A baby herself had some kind of trauma the moment she was released into the world. How many people do you think ever witnessed a laughing baby the first time they breathe air into their lungs?

However, we strive to avoid pain, misery and all of their brethen by all means as much as possible. Then why some still cling themselves to these rather rash maxims? Are those words a reminder to commend the job well done later on? That would put people on a double standard lifestyle. It’s a dangerous thing to to say, more fatalistic if somebody believes it.

The moment it became a problem is when it’s difficult to distinguish between agreeable and compelled duty. It’s the moment when the adventure begins, all that hovers around some heads is the golden treasure that lies at end of the rainbow, not the excitement that waits around the corner. It’s when sacrifice becomes a heroic ambition. After all, we should know our limits to attain balance of life.

If those troubled things to do as people might judged, for us is an entertaining experience, then it’s not an exertion anymore. How many times a marathon runner take delights in hearing his own footsteps pounding the paths he has taken and forget his breath became shorter and faster, barely aware of the sharp bite of icy cold wind when it’s met with his sweat? How many of them take pleasure of the scenery? Other than only aiming in winning the prize and trophies? People may dismiss the trouble but somehow they still feel the uneasiness. How about focusing on the excitement of running itself? Rather than struggling to keep an even pace and having a strong breathing? Or make a world record? Again, after all it’s only a game.

When pain is no more, then you start to gain.

Hidup senang selalu. (A quote from a practical but brilliant friend)

Don’t they sound much better? More pleasant and uplifting?

One might not depend on a favorable outcome which applies certain style of creative process that other had successfully employed. Each person has their own momentum. My first thought of reactions to this view would be, “Why of course it is”, “Why should it be brought up”, though there is still an ongoing tips of do’s and dont’s about it, or someone asking, “How do you start? Any tips?” See the thing is there is none such tips, because we are individually unique therefore we should find what makes us tick the most by ourselves.

Take an apple that is grown from a particular garden for an instant. It’s generally an apple. But it has different qualities than any apples of the same species that have been grown in distinct vicinities. The factors that determine those qualities should include calculable properties of the soil’s character based on the percentage of minerals, microorganism and worms contained, water absorption, and so on. Adding certain insecticides (if they use one) or biological pest controller and plant treatments for diseases. Plus conditions that involves climate changes. The circumstances mold each fruit into varied and complex characteristic. By this typical qualities each apple has varying measured resistance upon reaction to certain conditions. And what’s great about it, each has a slight different taste although generally it tasted like it should. An apple.

So does an individual has their specific method to achieve his/her goals. Especially those that involves creative purpose. Personally I disagree with certain guidelines in relation to evaluate aesthetic standard. The notion itself is contradictory. Since aesthetic standard for each individual is an individual taste per se. There is no need to find a common ground with already accepted familiar artistic criteria. While it involves a lot of independent emotions, intuitions and imaginations, one should not set an aesthetic boundary for this creative pursuit, if only one resolve to avoid predictability and retain purity in expressing his/her message. It has a definite sincere honesty and humility to it.

You can definitely capture one’s purpose and feel whether it serves to prove him/herself of some worthy goals or a sense of unpretentious genuine affection. Don’t be fooled, I myself has an ongoing battle between the two. It is human.

One might consider applying wisdom to some degree though to avoid certain repercussions. Don’t take this view to the extremes. I don’t wish hearing somebody butchered themselves or someone else for the sake of art.

Therefore it is certainly a challenge to combine both ingenuity and being responsible for harvesting brilliant creations. So, have fun getting your inspirations!

Personal opinions are more acceptable than a measure of certain qualities made by a critic. After all an expert is still a human. Their opinion is not the absolute benchmark.

If I need an opinion from a critic, it’s not because of his reliable judgments validated by the public or an authorized eligible standard that are man made as well. It will be based on his academic expertise of analysis that is sprung from cultural, social and historical backgrounds, that will be used as an input for consideration.

We have seen new movements, new genres, new styles that originates from certain issues, occurences that leads to new lifestyles, ideas, theories combined. There are no restricted regulations or exclusivity when the process is taking place. Those are made by critics who gave a name to it after it has been recognize. It is possible that the critics are themselves and their followers by then. That’s when rules and requisites comes in. The purity and originality of the enthusiasm that transpired are marred by pride and judgement.

It such a shame though that most of this intellectuals and evolusioners alike are constrained by their own limitations that was before transcends all confinements. This matter however, can’t be a justification for any reckless impromptu derived from desperate means for quick fame. This pathetic effort to be as outrageous as one loser can be doesn’t amaze people much these days. The attention will soon fade as light as his/her hollow integrity. It’s childish and irresponsible.

However, coming to terms with opinions and judgements, there is a personal and private reason to all preference and perpective. It is ones own birthright to be uniquely different than the others. It’s in a way a form of natural order. So the best thing one can do is find themselves what is in tune with their own character. And leave prejudice for somebody best left for extinction.

When you mind other people’s business, be it faith, way of life or just the way they look, you squander most of your precious life in waste. There’s so much imperfections in yourself, you don’t have time to mind other people’s flaws.

if you want to help someone from drowning, you have to learn to swim first.

It’s brilliant to be proud by making the most of your best qualities, but it’s divine to turn your weakness by positive means into one of your best virtues.

When someone is trying to emulate somebody, that person can never be that somebody, or as good let alone be better than that lucky person he/she wishes to outdo.

When someone chooses to be and live his/her life by her/his true self, then there is absolutely 200% chance that that person will be as good or even surpass any geniuses, saints and super human that ever existed in this infinite universes.

When someone mentions:  if everybody is special, then nobody is that special anymore. That’s not true. Let’s pick an obvious analogy : fire and water. Which is more special than the other? Are they still special if there exist only one of them in this world?

When someone who is obviously not your loved ones intends solely to hurt your feelings by saying ugly misleading things about you, why do you care? Do you care what strangers thinks about you or your loved one ‘s faith in you?

Live with someone who can grow together with you and leave those who drag you down with them. It’s a very common aphorism that you hear everyday but people always fails to recognize which is which.

Choose one top priority: love and happiness or power, money and status. It’s one way or the other, you can’t have it all. It’s very simple, yet so many people tend to make it a complex choice.